Date Night

I’ve always said that right now Adam and I are in this strange nebulous world of dating. Before he left, we were in a traditional monogamous relationship where we saw each other weekly, went on actual dates (some of our dates will be a future blog post, Raleigh has such fun things for couples to do) and we spent time together doing couple-y things. Now, we’re still monogamous but we can’t really do anything at all other than talk on the phone. Sometimes I like to joke that I’m in a relationship without all the benefits (a partner to comfort me when I need it, someone to talk to and spend time with, someone who will come rushing to my side with Chinese food and movies when I’m sick) and I’m single without all the benefits (free dinner, um… that’s about it, actually, dating sucks). As much as a joke, I’m committed to Adam 100 percent– even if I’m constantly waiting on him.

The best analogy I ever heard (okay, I made it up) was that being long distance like this is like trying to swim across the ocean. When you’re together, you’re a team. Helping each other across the ocean, cheering each other on, making sure no one is left behind. You can physically help the other person. But, when you’re long distance, you’re no longer swimming, you’re treading water. You’re trying to keep your head above the waves and playing a game of Marco Polo in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. It’s not impossible but it’s just very difficult.

One of the things Adam and I liked to do when he was here was to watch movies together. Our favorite thing was to make dinner together and curl up on the couch with some Netflix and watch different movies– usually a scary movie– and eat our dinner. It’s obviously hard to watch movies when you’re in two different countries with at least a seven hour time difference between you.

That’s where rabb.it comes in.

I know this will sound super infomercial like and I apologize in advance but if you’re long distance, rabb.it is great. You can video chat and watch Netflix/Hulu/Youtube or even surf the Internet together. We’ve found that if the person with the better internet (me) streams the content and hosts the video chat room, then the person with the weaker internet has fewer interruptions. Their browser seems to read both the video chat and the streaming as one.

So, what we did Sunday was watch Black Mirror together. It’s a TV series with hour long episodes that don’t have an overall story throughout each episode you need to keep up with. The episodes are independent of each other. But, we could watch this together, talk about the episode, see each other’s faces and actually have a real-life reaction to what we were watching.

There’s separate audio channels so you have the ability to turn up the volume on whatever you’re watching and turn down the audio on whoever you’re video chatting with– if you so desire. I do desire because it can be really jarring to hear laughter in the middle of the episode. There’s even a neat feature where you mouse over the bubble your partner appears in and it puts them up big on your screen.

Other things I think we might use rabb.it for in the future:

  • Looking at apartments together– a lot of the websites are banned where he’s at
  • Updating our (his) resumes for future job hunting
  • Picking out products for our future apartment– I’m on the hunt for a plain gray bedspread and it’s the hardest thing I’ve done in weeks

There’s so much we can do with rabb.it to “spend time together” that we couldn’t. Ironically, even though we love Black Mirror, I’m grateful for the technology we have because it gives us the ability to be as normal of a couple as we possibly can.

So, thank you world for WiFi, the Internet, rabb.it, and Netflix.

Oh, did you also know rabb.it has an iPhone app? Me neither since I don’t have an iPhone.

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